MAME Championships K5 Novice Joke Contest

Discussion about the MAME Championships
http://sawys.ifrance.com/K7.htm

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Zhorik
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MAME Championships K5 Novice Joke Contest

Post by Zhorik »

Novice wrote:"MARP championships" is right words.
not MAME Championships.
Since we’ve got an off day during K5, I’ve decided to award my entire outstanding PayPal balance from my glorious GEGOTW victory and MARP WORLD RECORD on The Amazing Adventures of Mr. F. Lea to whoever can come up with the best joke regarding Novice.

For example:
Zhorik wrote:"A sporadic info supplier regarding arcade games popular in Japan and arrogant prick" is right words.
not The greatest info supplyer.
Reward: $18.50 (usd)

Deadline for submission to MARP forums: September 16, 2006 2359 GMT

Further Bounty: none

I am the sole judge of this contest. My decision is final (although I’ll probably solicit feedback on the #marp irc channel so feel free to pander).

Use WolfMAME .101 or .106 (or .71 if you have CPU speed below 667Mhz or a really crappy non-Intel processor).

Fineprint: This contest is single elimination with only the top entrant advancing. Novice himself is eligible to win based on his original very funny post and is our current leader. If you are in a country that doesn’t accept PayPal I’m willing to forward your winnings through JTC provided you have additional winnings pending from GEGOTW victories. Otherwise you better get busy with GEGOTW or you’re out of luck and I’ll award the prize to the next highest placed eligible contestant after 6 weeks. Entrants making use of Novice's comment he posted regarding the “inappropriate” naming of the MAME Championships will recieve bonus points. Entrants making use of a hacked screen shot of Joust that instead reads “Jouse” on the title screen will receive bonus points. Entrants making use of a hacked ROM set for Joust that instead reads “Jouse” on the title screen will receive triple bonus points. If I myself enter the funniest joke, I am not eligible for the prize and I’ll award the prize to the next highest placed eligible contestant. Entrants are limited to a maximum of 3 submissions, although they are allowed to edit their submissions after they are originally submitted with improved jokes up until the deadline. All jokes must be posted in English or Russian.
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Post by Weehawk »

So there's this long line of people waiting to enter through the
Pearly Gates and suddenly this guy starts walking
down the line and throwing people out of line. Next guy up asks
St. Peter, what the hell, does that fucktard think he's God? And St. Peter
replies, "He is God - he thinks he's Hisa Chan."
John Cunningham (JTC)
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re....

Post by AL »

Q: How many MAME Championship contenders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: About 40, and at least one cunt to explain the process....




AL
Last edited by AL on Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:58 am, edited 2 times in total.
HAL: " It's puzzling . I've never seen anything quite like this before..? "
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Post by TRB_MetroidTeam »

Weehawk wrote:does that fucktard think he's God? And St. Peter
replies, "He is God - he thinks he's Hisa Chan."
Hey John... ou friend "Tom Green" think is Hisa... errr... think is God! :P (You know what I am talking about ;))

PS.: Not for the contest (I think).
Valter "TRB" - The Real Battle
Metroid Team, from Brazil
Crazy Taxi and Crazy Taxi 2 world champions
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RE...

Post by AL »

Knock Knock!

Who's there?


Me!


Mesa-Chan?


No, Mesa wanna change your wording you deaf c*nt!




Meh.....


AL
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Post by The_Pro »

Trying to work "junk" into this somehow.
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re...

Post by AL »

'Junk' rhymes with 'drunk'.......



:-)



AL
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NOVICE

Post by BDF »

... WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY JOKE !?

A NOVICE.
Jerome
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Re: re...

Post by TRB_MetroidTeam »

AL wrote:'Junk' rhymes with 'drunk'.......
Drunk? Someone called me??? (Zhorik, BBH, Metrackle...)
:lol:
Valter "TRB" - The Real Battle
Metroid Team, from Brazil
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Post by TRB_MetroidTeam »

Diego Maradona... starts a discussion with Joseph Blatter...

DM - Hey Joseph... "Earth Cup" is right words. Not "World Cup".
JB - Dieguito... my friend... please return to Argentina and help your team to defeat Brazil.
DM - I will ever repeat it... if the final match of the 2006 Earth Cup would be Argentina vs Brasil, we will win. In the worst situation, we will defeat Brazil in the next friendly match!
JB - Are you joking?
DM - No, no! JOust because our team is one of the favorite teams of this Cup. Blatt... by the way... talking about JOust name... when we will play again that 2-players mode on arcade Joust, Joseph?
JB - You are so bad in that game Diego! I only will play again cooperative with YOU when that game chenge the name!
DM - So we will play just now! Do you know about the 2006 ultra-new version???... called "JousE"? Someone told me is reverence to the "E" from "Earth Cup"... please see this pictures Joseph... And my personal record is 5,331,050 !
(PICTURE_01)
JB - What? This is exactly the MAME world record, holded by Robert Griffin! Your cheater!
DM - For sure that not! It is all "Fair Play"!
JB - Again... go to Argentina, shut up... and jOust play soccer!

============================

PS.1:
And to Weehawk:
(PICTURE_02)

PS.2: I am bad at jokings! I am worst when in other language (well... at least English is better than Russian to me)! And you know... I am a bit tired ;)
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PICTURE_02
PICTURE_02
God_Jisa.jpg (63.94 KiB) Viewed 10666 times
PICTURE_01
PICTURE_01
Jouse_screenshot.JPG (143.12 KiB) Viewed 10666 times
Valter "TRB" - The Real Battle
Metroid Team, from Brazil
Crazy Taxi and Crazy Taxi 2 world champions
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Post by Metrackle »

Joke #1
So why is Novice really called Novice?
His wife gave him that name because he was bad in bed.

Joke #2
Why was Novice pulled over?
He was doing the offroad trick.

Joke #3
Novice was hooked to a lie detector and was asked if he owned the French and Italian versions of Cadash and the German and Prototype versions of Klax. He said yes and the lie detector exploded.

Also, my Jouse screenshot:
Attachments
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jouse.png (3.72 KiB) Viewed 10664 times
Last edited by Metrackle on Sat Sep 16, 2006 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by TRB_MetroidTeam »

[04:34:58] <zhorik> Not bad, You would score higher if you had a screenshot of Jouse showing the PB score of 5,331,050. Of course in Joust that is an impossible score, but I'm sure you know that :)
Almost!!!
Well... at least is a screenshot! :P
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DSC07132.JPG (57.98 KiB) Viewed 10658 times
Valter "TRB" - The Real Battle
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Crazy Taxi and Crazy Taxi 2 world champions
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Post by The TJT »

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Post by Zhorik »

Thanks to all of the entrants. While I enjoyed the Jouse screenshots (especially TRB's), our winner is: Weehawk. Yes, I realize his entry was an "old" joke with Hisa swapped in, but it was still the one that made me laugh the most, even after multiple reads.

Weehawk, I assume your PayPal address is still the same?
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Post by Weehawk »

Zhorik wrote:Thanks to all of the entrants. While I enjoyed the Jouse screenshots (especially TRB's), our winner is: Weehawk. Yes, I realize his entry was an "old" joke with Hisa swapped in, but it was still the one that made me laugh the most, even after multiple reads.

Weehawk, I assume your PayPal address is still the same?
Yeah.

I'd like to thank all the people whose lame jokes made mine look good by comparison, the person, name lost to antiquity, who actually wrote the joke, and the academy.

And to think I did it all without ever learning Japanese, the mother of all video game languages, or whatever that was he used to say.

And I hope Hisa realizes this was all in good fun. I'm glad he's around and contributes on the forum and MARP itself, even if he is a little silly sometimes.
John Cunningham (JTC)
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